If my first few hours at Magic Kingdom felt like stepping into a dream, the rest of the day was a thrilling (and occasionally questionable) journey through some of Disney’s most iconic attractions. Some rides lived up to the hype. Some surprised me. And some had me questioning my life choices. This Magic Kingdom ride guide covers the rides I loved, the ones that shook me to my core, and the ones I need a do-over on.
Tomorrowland: Space, Speed (or Lack Thereof), and Regrets
We started strong in Tomorrowland, and I have to say—the theming here is on point. The music, the futuristic design, the neon glow—it all felt like stepping into an old-school sci-fi movie.
Tomorrowland Speedway
I thought this would be a fun, lighthearted ride. I was wrong.
My husband was the driver, and within seconds, we realized the “speedway” should have been called the “slightly-faster-than-walking-way.” A toddler could have outpaced us.
The ride is great for kids who want to drive for the first time, but for us? It was like creeping through Toronto traffic at rush hour, but with worse acceleration.
Lesson learned.
Space Mountain: Nope, Not Today
I know, I know—this is an iconic Disney ride. But let me tell you something about myself: I do not enjoy being thrown around in total darkness at high speeds.
Maybe next time. (Maybe.)
Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor / Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin: A Missed Opportunity
We skipped these, thinking we’d come back. We did not come back.
The regret is real.
Fantasyland: A Nostalgic Wonderland
After Tomorrowland, we made our way into Fantasyland, where I fully leaned into the magic of Disney.
Under the Sea – Journey of The Little Mermaid: A Comfort Ride
A slow-moving, beautifully animated ride through Ariel’s world? Sign me up. The animatronics were charming, the colours were bright, and the nostalgia hit hard.
But no one warned me about Ursula.
I was not expecting a giant animatronic sea witch to loom over me like that. She was massive.
Adventureland: Laughter, Carpet Malfunctions & a Boatload of Dad Jokes
Somewhere in the midst of our Magic Kingdom ride guide journey, we ended up on Pirates of the Caribbean—and let me tell you, this was the most underwhelming experience of the day.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Where’s Jack Sparrow?
I was ready to set sail, expecting thrills, maybe some action, and at least one dramatic sword fight.
Instead? We got a slow-moving boat ride with okay animatronics and a lot of pirate mumbling.
The atmosphere? Decent. The storytelling? Fine. But where was Captain Jack Sparrow?!
He appeared a couple of times, but let’s be real—if you’re going to base a ride on a franchise carried entirely by Johnny Depp’s chaotic brilliance, I expect a full Captain Jack experience. At the very least, let him narrate the whole thing. Would I ride again? Only if Jack Sparrow personally invites me.
Aladdin’s Magic Carpets: A Hilarious Mishap
This should have been a simple, relaxing ride.
Instead, we didn’t realize how to control our carpet and spent half the ride awkwardly hovering in one spot while everyone else soared majestically around us.
A cast member subtly gestured for us to figure out the lever, and we finally got it—just in time for the ride to end.
Oops.
Jungle Cruise: The Best Dad Jokes at Disney
I did not expect to love this ride as much as I did.
Jungle Cruise isn’t about thrills—it’s about the absolute commitment of the cast members to delivering some of the best (and worst) dad jokes you’ll ever hear.
Our skipper was hilarious, making the slow-moving boat ride through fake jungle scenery feel like a stand-up comedy show.
This ride is a must for the humour alone.
Frontierland: The Ride That Betrayed Me
Tiana’s Bayou Adventure: A Beautiful, Wet, & Terrifying Experience
Let’s talk about Tiana’s Bayou Adventure (formerly Splash Mountain).
This ride is gorgeous. The level of detail, the music, the atmosphere—it all makes you feel like you’re in Tiana’s world.
But the problem?
I hate big drops. And this ride betrayed me.
I saw people wearing ponchos with the thousand-yard stare of someone who had been through something mildly traumatic.
That was red flag #1.
Then, I saw the drop. A big one. Straight down the mountain. Into a massive splash zone.
That was red flag #2.
The beginning lulled me into a false sense of security. Cute animatronics, gentle music, good vibes. Then, suddenly, we were climbing.
The music got dramatic. I saw the top.
And then—we DROPPED.
I screamed like my life depended on it.
We were in the front row, which meant we got pretty wet. Thank goodness we brought a poncho.
Would I ride it again? Honestly, I don’t know.
Liberty Square: A Spooky (and Hilarious) Haunt
The Haunted Mansion: Surprisingly Spooky
I thought The Haunted Mansion would be a fun, lighthearted ghost ride. And it was—but it was also genuinely eerie.
The cast members were fully committed to the creepy vibe, staring blankly at guests and refusing to smile. The stretching room introduction? Kind of terrifying. And the ride itself? A mix of humor and eerie ghost illusions that had me questioning how Disney pulled it off.
Also, they have wheelchairs lined up at the exit, which are apparently meant to represent someone’s deceased ex-wives. EX-WIVES. I have so many questions. Who was this mysterious ghost husband? Why does he have so many ex-wives? Is this a ride or a true crime documentary?
Final Ride: The Cutest End to the Night
Our final ride of the day was The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which we used our MultiPass for.
Originally, we wanted to do Peter Pan’s Flight and Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, but the wait times were painfully long, and at that point, we were running on pure willpower and Disney magic.
- Winnie the Pooh? Adorable.
- The exit gift shop? Even cuter.
- The Tigger and Winnie hats? 10/10, would buy if I wasn’t already financially committed to Tiana merch.
Final Thoughts: What I’d Do Differently
- ✔ Actually ride Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin.
- ✔ Mentally prepare for Tiana’s drop.
- ✔ Figure out the Magic Carpet controls BEFORE takeoff.
- ✔ Face my fear of Space Mountain. (Maybe.)
This Magic Kingdom ride guide proves one thing—Disney rides are full of surprises, laughter, and occasionally, betrayal. Would I do it all again? Absolutely (for some rides). Read about the rides I rode at Animal Kingdom and Epcot.
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