Reflecting on 2021

The word I would use, to sum up, 2021 is challenging.

I tried new ways of doing things in the year 2021, and I failed at many of them. I felt like 2021 was a rock bottom year in many ways. Taking care of myself (i.e. making my bed) was difficult.  

Often, I would find myself thinking of who I was in university. I used to do so much, burn myself out so much, and then pick myself up again within 24 hours. And yet, just a few short years later, I don’t have half the energy to do that. I find it harder to pick myself up after falling.

I think it’s because I trust people less, and I am more aware of how challenging the world is. It’s harder when you’ve got more to lose, and that’s the thing about ageing… you’re always acquiring more in life. Therefore, it feels like there’s more to lose now, so you take fewer chances.  

Who am I kidding, though? After all, I’m only 25. I have time. Ultimately, it’s how I learn from the past that matters.

Without further ado, here is my 2021 reflection.

The things that worked in 2021

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✔️I bought a new computer

My “old” iMac was driving me crazy. It was too slow. I had to wait 45 minutes for Premiere Pro to load (after the program crashed multiple times) and my computer would take forever to open Chrome. And Photoshop? Forget it. I couldn’t use the big beautiful retina iMac display to design on Photoshop because my computer crashed immediately.  

I knew I needed a new computer and had every intention of building one myself. Yet, I was unable to find a good graphics card, and I needed a computer immediately.

I didn’t have time to wait for a graphics card or search for all the parts. So I went with a pre-built PC, and it was the best decision I made in 2021.   

I spent a lot of money on a brand-new PC, a monitor, and accessories. But I use it every day and my stress levels have come down a lot.   

Now, I can open Premiere Pro in seconds instead of 45 minutes. Plus, I still have a beautiful monitor I can use to play Nintendo Switch and PS5 games. With a large display, I can design graphics for work on Photoshop now without my computer crashing.  

Right now I am using the new computer to write this blog post. Oh, and mechanical keyboards are awesome. Here’s my setup in this TikTok video:  

https://www.tiktok.com/@tia.mov/video/7016411864686939398?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id6991166786109638150

✔️ I earned my red belt

I’ve been practicing Taekwondo for almost 6 years. In August 2016, I turned 20 and started Taekwondo. As an adult, it’s tough. It’s difficult to keep up if you’re moving (you’ll have to switch dojangs), or have an insane work schedule (like I had for a year). These things can slow you down regardless of how well you’re doing.   

I joined my current dojang in 2019 and I’ve been the most consistent at this studio for a variety of reasons. Firstly, I got a job that fits my lifestyle now, and Secondly, I can drive here in less than 30 minutes. Sadly, with the lockdowns in 2020, 2021, and now 2022, it makes it hard to practice in a dojang.   

It’s possible to do online Taekwondo training or practice on your own if you have a kicking bag or Bob at home. I would love to do that, but I don’t have the space right now.  

In spite of all this, I got my red belt in 2021, which I had on my vision board for years. I’m two tests away from my black belt (which I thought I was going to get in 2021), and I’m hoping to get it in 2022.    

✔️ I bought my parents really nice gifts

I think it’s a rite of passage to get your parents something they wouldn’t buy themselves. I felt so fulfilled and happy to buy my mom and dad something nice for their birthdays. And I wanna do it again.  

✔️ I designed my portfolio website

TiaMorrison.com was down for almost a year. In quarter two of 2021, I focused on making a beautiful website for my brand. My website will change as I grow in my career, but for now, it represents who I am right now.  \

✔️ I led a virtual bible study group every Friday

It’s important to have small groups, and I’m glad I got to lead one from 2020 to now.  

It’s a virtual group that meets each week on Discord to discuss a different chapter of the Bible. It’s fun because it’s a bible study that turns into a social gathering, which is essential when you’re working from home for most of the week.  

✔️ I grew my freelancing business and said no to clients

After I bought my first car in 2020, I decided to finally start freelance editing again. This is my seventh year freelancing. But this is the first time I’ve made a consistent income as a freelancer.   

Positive freelance experiences have taught me that I am capable of maintaining good relationships with people and earning income outside of a 9-5. Being my own boss doesn’t always require a fast and linear journey. Sometimes it’s a slow, uphill thing. One client at a time. One year at a time.

Additionally, I honed in on what my business can’t compromise on. Every client I work with, no matter how temporary, must have a contract. It’s so important to set clear boundaries and explain who you are and what your business is like.   

Don’t let potential clients tell you how to run your business. You aren’t their employee. As an independent contractor, you run your own business. Think of it like owning a bakery. They’re here to buy something from you and leave or to buy something from you and come back again. Nothing more.  

Once you’ve built a relationship with a client, there’s always room for flexibility. If it’s a new client, you’ve got to be firm about your business practices and ready to say no to them. It’s not worth the trauma or drama to be honest.  

✔️ I got help from professionals

I didn’t take my “fitness” seriously in 2021, but I took other parts of my health seriously.

I finally used my health benefits in 2021. For a quarter of the year, I saw a therapist (and cried a lot). I worked with a virtual personal trainer for 12 weeks (and I got fit, but I disliked strength training and went back to my bad habits). I saw a podiatrist and got insoles for my flat feet.

My back pain got a lot better with physiotherapy and massages (and a new mattress), and I saw a dermatologist (who, in retrospect, I wasn’t ready for yet). As a whole, I learned how to use my health benefits and what triggers poor health in my body. 

The things that didn’t work in 2021  

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❌ Surrounding myself with people who were negative energy drainers

My relationship with a friend ended this year, and I distanced myself from a few people too. These are two things I did too late. It took me until the last quarter of this year to get to this point.

Now I’m more alone and I’m getting back to the person I was in 2019 when I had more acquaintances than best friends. I’m not happy about it, but I’m not sad either. As long as I’m doing the things I love, I can be by myself. I feel more peaceful now.

I am happiest when I am ice-skating, practising martial arts, watching an amazing show or reading a fascinating book, gaming, drinking a latte at a cafe, dog walking in a gorgeous park with a podcast, taking product photos, video editing for fun, writing fictional worlds or writing blog posts.

When I do these things, I feel so present and fulfilled. But my low-energy self needs someone else to do them with. My high-energy self can do them all alone.  

When I was unhappy, I would watch shows with other people to see if it would make me happy. But it didn’t. I’m happiest when I watch these shows on my own. I love sharing my favourite movies or shows with people, but if it’s not the right person, it can ruin the experience. 

❌ Having an unhealthy relationship with drive-thrus and ordering food on apps

I ate awfully in 2021. For 12 weeks, I was fit and healthy, but I wasn’t doing the exercises I loved.

Just like I said at the beginning of this post, I had a hard time showing up for myself in 2021. That’s why I used all sorts of distractions. Fast food was one of them. And it actually made me sick.

Plus, now that I have a car, I can go through a drive-thru and get my fix right away. Afterwards, I’d be miserable, feeling like I did myself a disservice.

Before 2021, I never had this problem. In 2022, I’m ready to get back to eating healthy for my health more than anything else.

❌ I got sick at the end of 2021

I got sick around Christmas of 2021, which was weird because I never get sick. I don’t get the flu or colds. Sometimes I get allergies around Spring. I got the flu once after I got the flu shot.

Out of nowhere, my immune system failed me in December, and I was unable to function for seven days. I had chills and aches in every part of my body. My migraine was so intense that I couldn’t even open my eyes.

Besides a painful chest cough, I had a congested nose and was so fatigued that it was difficult to move or leave my bed. I’d get some work done for 30 minutes and then nap.

As I said, my immune system let me down. Generally, I’m a very active person, and if I eat and sleep right, I’m energetic all day. It was weird because I felt like doing things, but couldn’t.

I think my unhealthy eating habits a few days before I got sick weakened my immune system. So I’m going to eat green, whole foods, high protein, and cook a lot in 2022.

I also want to fall back in love with exercising again since weight training made me dislike it. In 2022, I’ll do Taekwondo, ice skating, Just Dance, and maybe…snowboarding.

❌ Impulse spending

Did I mention that I have an addictive personality? Well, yes, I do. My collection of Avatar: The Last Airbender collectibles is a mile high, and I’ve watched thousands of hours of k-dramas and c-dramas.

This is great when I’m learning something like ice skating or martial arts because my addictive personality will make me want to do that thing every day just to get a rush.

Well, impulse spending on Amazon to fix “immediate” problems and buy unnecessary activewear every month is just ridiculous. It’s ridiculous! In 2021, I could have saved thousands of dollars. 

I made more money in 2021 from freelancing and working 9-5. It felt like I had more disposable income, but I could have invested it in stocks or useful stuff…like a new camera!

Anyway, it’s still a habit I have today and I want to break it. I rarely regret what I buy, but my wallet definitely does. 

❌ I failed to post on YouTube or on my blog

Goodbye to my personal creative endeavours in 2021, hello to work, work, work and only work. Last year I had no outlet for my anxious energy. Nor, did I have anyone to talk to about all the things roaming around my brain rent-free. This year I realized that I made my blog and YouTube channel for myself, not for my career.   

People have turned their hobbies into careers, which is awesome, but for me, my career has always been creating books, films and shows. I use my blog and YouTube channel to express myself instead of keeping everything bottled up inside.

It’s not my intention to have people read my blog. First and foremost, I write for myself. And that’s what I used to do with YouTube, but now it’s hard to post videos for myself without thinking of others. 

Tech with Tia is a channel I created for others since I don’t even watch tutorials myself. Instead, I watch day-in-the-life vlogs on YouTube and TikTok. Videos like that are my favourite to watch, especially if they’re “aesthetically pleasing”. I wish I could make videos like that for myself in hopes that others will enjoy them too.  

What if I just became a personality YouTuber and posted whatever I want? I’d like to vlog my ice skating journey, martial arts practice, travel, health/wellness habits, workdays in my life, writing vlogs…everything. Those are the videos I’d watch from someone else.  

❌ Dance classes may not be for me

I tried dance studio life in 2021. I liked some classes, but not all. It’s hard to learn choreography. It takes a lot of skill to pick up new choreography in 30 minutes.

As an ex-shuffler (which I want to get back into), I think I have decent coordination and rhythm.

I don’t really like learning choreography in under an hour. If it was a couple of hours of practice, I’m sure I’d be able to learn it.

It was fun learning the dance choreography for LALISA by Lisa from BlackPink last year. It was fun driving back and forth to the dance studio at sunset. The vibes were immaculate, but the choreography…not so much.

❌ Giving myself a year to complete all my goals, instead of 12 weeks

I usually set 12 goals for the new year. I try to work on all of them at once, but that’s not effective for me. I realized I should focus on 3 goals every 12 weeks.  

I’m going to try to achieve 3 goals in 12 weeks this year. If I’m more productive this quarter, I’ll let you know.  

❌ Doing things I truly don’t want to do

Maybe it’s getting older and a little wiser, but I’m learning what I love to do and what’s best for me rather than what everyone else wants me to do. I learned that the decisions I made for myself last year were some of the best decisions I’ve ever made.   

Having said that, I won’t do boring strength training workouts when I’d rather ice skate for hours on end. This applies to all areas of my life as well. What can I do to make sure I reach my goals and still have fun?

❌ Drinking caffeine after 12 pm

Caffeine triggers my anxiety. It disrupts my sleep, which then affects my whole day. I’d like to drink more hot and iced coffee at home, but I have to do it before noon, and in small doses.

I love an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso from Starbucks, but I won’t be sleeping afterwards. 

I love Alani Nu pre-workout, but it makes my heart race, and I usually work out at night.

I’m a more level-headed version of myself without caffeine, albeit slightly tired, and I want to be that way more often in 2022.

❌ Not stretching after workouts

Both my physiotherapist and massage therapist say I need to take care of my body, or I won’t be able to do my sports. I practice martial arts and skate, so my body always aches afterward. On top of that, my back hurts from an accident a few years ago, and I sit at a desk all day.  

Being more flexible and pliable is one of my goals this year. I want to do splits, hold my kicks high, and bend my body the way I need to in order to be better at figure skating. If I don’t start training my muscles to be more pliable now, I won’t be able to do that.  

TB12 was recommended to me by a health professional, so I’m foam rolling almost every day now. But the book talks about pliability over flexibility. It’s really about making your body pliable so it can do amazing things for years to come.   

There’s no point in training in a sport if you’re going to burn out or feel sore the next day. If you make your body elastic, it will be able to stretch to do many different physical things, without strain and faster recovery times.  

Here’s what I learned in 2021…

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💡Be ruthless about who you allow in your life.

The circle you surround yourself with matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. You can feel someone else’s negative energy in seconds. If you surround yourself with negative people, you can’t live your best life. I’ve evolved the fastest when I was ruthless about who I let in, and 2020-2021 was a wake-up call to bring that attitude back.  

💡 The things I loved as a child are the same things I love now.

People don’t change, my dad used to say. I think he meant people’s interests don’t change. In fact, their interests come back to haunt them later in life. I’ll see someone else figure skating and say, “My toxic trait is thinking I can do that.”

Then I realize I could learn how to do that. As a kid, I used to imagine myself figure skating. I’d lay in bed with my iPod Nano on shuffle and my wired earbuds plugged in.

The point is that I’ve always wanted to be a figure skater, so my interest hasn’t changed. It’s no shock I want to learn how to figure skate now.

  I have found this to be true for so many other things in my life. As a child, I was fascinated by martial arts films (I grew up watching a lot of them), writing, and learning languages.  

💡 I learned more about politics and political ideologies.

I won’t go into too much detail here, but I learned a lot about communism and Marxist belief systems around the world, and their impact on history.

I also learned how capitalism works, and why so many so-called communist countries still benefit from it. I’ll use all this info when I write my fantasy dystopian novel this year. 

💡I learned a lot more about storytelling.

This year, I bought a few storytelling books. Save the Cat: Writes a Novel was a good read, but it didn’t really sink in for me, so I need to re-read it.

To improve my screenwriting skills, I bought Story by Robert McKee, a master screenwriter. In the media industry, storytelling is king. Those who write wield the power. I truly believe that.

In addition, I learned that writing gives me a sense of fulfillment and balance. It opens up a deeper, more expansive part of my brain and improves my communication skills.

In quarter three of 2021, I wrote every morning, and it helped my mental health tremendously. Using Scrivener, I wrote short stories and organized my notes for my dystopian-fantasy novel.

I noticed I was speaking with more confidence and clarity after I started writing every day. I also felt like I could escape into any of the fictional worlds I was working on, which was great for my emotional wellbeing. So, this year, I’m making writing a habit. 

💡I learned that health is wealth, and my health is EVERYTHING.

It’s true what they say, you are what you eat. Eat green and eat real food. Do it and take care of yourself.  

💡I learned to just draft it.

Commit to terrible drafts in 2022. GET THE WORDS OUT OF YOU. You have to just write and go from there. Become a master editor later.  

💡I learned that as a beginner, you need to be kind of good at it first.

Being a beginner at something you don’t have an innate talent for is tough. I think it’s easier to have a little bit of talent at something because it’ll motivate you to keep improving. I learned this lesson through martial arts, ice skating, language study, and video editing.   

I’m pretty good at martial arts. Since I’ve seen martial arts so often in movies and dramas, my brain was used to seeing the moves. I’m still learning martial arts, but a little bit of natural talent helps.

For figure skating, I’ve got rhythm and dance experience. I also visualized myself figure skating as a kid, so it’s easier to see myself doing it now.

After you have a little bit of talent at something, you’ll be motivated to keep learning and eventually master it if you keep practicing.

💡Don’t mix business and pleasure ever.

I can’t edit for people I know on a personal level. Honestly, it’s awkward. It doesn’t work. Your business is business for a reason, and people who know you, don’t know you as a business. They know you as a friend or a student. And they’ll treat your business like that, too. 

That’s why you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.

💡 Not every hobby needs to be capatalized, monetized or used for career advancement.

When I was younger, I would dive into a new hobby, fall in love with it, and then somehow conclude that it had to be monetized for it to be worthwhile.

I realized that my hobbies and career do not have to overlap. I can have a hobby as a career, but I shouldn’t turn my hobbies into side hustles. My career should fund the fun in my life.

💡 Write it down, right away…

If I have ideas for my blog, YouTube channel, TikTok, Instagram or even my novel, I have to write them down or even act on them right away. If not, they’ll be stored in the backlogged part of my brain that contributes to anxious ruminations.

Somehow, I always seem to have a neverending to-do list. I sometimes wonder if I find comfort in never being idle. I fear being bored.

However, this type of thinking is a leading cause of my anxiety, and I wonder how I’ll feel if my to-do list is empty for once. 

As a result, I find writing down ideas right away very actionable and helpful to my mental health.

💡 For my lifestyle and mindset, batching work is essential

Everyone’s lifestyle and personality are different. When it comes to my creative hobbies, I struggle to balance them with my full-time job. So, I can only consistently do my creative hobbies (blogging and social media) if I batch content for them.   

Furthermore, I tend to spiral every time I publish something online. I suddenly go from, “I’m creating this content for me” to “how many views did this get?”. The ironic thing is that the views and my following would grow if I just continued to post constantly. But, my mindset won’t allow me to continue creating.

The hack, I realized for this, and I’ve tested this before, is to pre-film and pre-write a quarter’s worth of posts that are automated to publish. That gives me 12 weeks of content that I can test the success of, and by that time, my numbers-based view will have faded and I’ll be reminded of why I love sharing content in the first place.

This is how my brain works, and I’ve been working against it for so long to do things in the way experts suggest. Remember what I said earlier in this post? As I pursue my goals, I must still enjoy the work I do.  

💡 Decisions that were right for me, were so right for me.

Don’t ignore that inner voice in your head telling you to buy a pre-built PC instead of building one, because you’re right. You and your time will benefit from this decision. Learn as much as you can before making a decision, but in the end, the decision will belong to you, and it will be right for you even if it isn’t right for others.

💡 Writing in Scrivener

Scrivener allows me to complete a full first draft in a short amount of time. My ability to write endlessly is a result of the distraction-free interface. In any case, I will be drafting most of my projects in Scrivener. I don’t necessarily have to write a novel. It can also be a blog post.   

💡 Talking out loud to write or revise clear sentences

The process of revising is new to me. My goal is to get better at it. Please let me know if you know of any books on revising I should read. I love editing videos. As a result, it is one of the skills I have spent the most time practicing. While some video editing skills transfer to editing writing, not all of them do. Editing my writing is still a new skill, but one technique that works for me is reading my writing aloud to revise sentences.

How my life evolved in 2021

On the whole, I am a more confident driver, more aware of my surroundings, and I have less trust in others. As for the last point, it may sound negative, but it’s a side effect of ageing. As you grow, your trust in people lessens, and you become more individualistic.   

I am grateful for the following things in 2021

1. My immediate family is alive and healthy, and I am so grateful for that. There have been many tragic deaths in my extended family this year, and it was difficult to see those close to me grieve.
2. The fact that I was able to purchase special presents for my parents this year made me feel grateful.
3. Noah is the sweetest and cutest fur baby I could ever hope for. He is a land shark and is absolutely stubborn, but I am so glad he is healthy, stylish, and fit with a cocky attitude. 

Lavendaire's 2021 reflection video inspired the above prompts.